- Ron James Live, Centennial Theatre, Friday, May 4 and Saturday, May 5 at 8 p.m. Tickets $53 available by calling the box office at 604-984-4484.

RON James can’t shut up.

Whether the topic is “sphincter-twisted barristers,” or Alberta’s dueling conservative parties, the comic has no interest in his right to remain silent.

“I can’t shut up,” he says before repeating himself in his breathless maritime lilt. “I can’t shut up. It’s like Farley Mowatt said to me, ‘If you didn’t talk, you’d blow up.’”

Far from a character defect, James’ verbosity has made him one of Canada’s best-loved comedians, nearly as closely associated with the Great White North as universal healthcare and French fries smothered in curds and gravy.

James is scheduled to bring his collection of japes, jabs, rants and rage to the Centennial Theatre May 4 and 5.

“I came back to North Van because I realized that people in Vancouver, once they cross that bridge after a working day, are reluctant to cross the bridge and go downtown again,” he says. “And I love that theatre. It’s always alive, it’s always cooking.”

The self-described “non-stop stuttering bandy-legged luminescent Celtic gonad,” got his first taste of comedy in his mother’s kitchen in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

“I don’t want to perpetuate a cliché myth of East Coast bliss but there were folks who came through my mother’s front door into her kitchen who all had their own take on life. It was a pantheon of personalities,” he says. “It poured and set a foundation

for what would be a deference for the spoken word later on in life.”

Still, James is quick to point out that his virtuosity as a standup wasn’t simply the result of being inoculated with the storytelling culture of the Maritimes.

“I’m 54 now, and it’s been 32 years in the professional trenches of funny that have made all the difference in the world,” he says.

James made his first foray into theatre when he was studying to become a history teacher at Acadia University, a time he remembers with startling vividness.

“I said I was studying to be a history teacher. I had a major in binge drinking and a minor in bongs, brother,” he recalls. “It was the 1970s, you might as well ask me what it was like being four.”

Between the suds and smoke, James does recall making a profound decision.

“I had a fundamental epiphany there, though, that this is what I was supposed to do with my life: be a comedian.”

After joining a theatre company, James was exposed to small stages and big egos of Canadian drama.

“Everybody in the theatre company thought they were going to get an Academy Award for Jesus’ sake. I came in contact with bigger egos in a puppet company in Nova Scotia than I ever did in Los Angeles.”

Despite honing his improv skills at Second City in Toronto, the sister theatre of the comedy stage that served as training ground for greats like Bill Murray, Mike Myers, and Stephen Colbert, James’ career got off to a slow start.

He is credited as “Man in Movie” in the Canadian classic Strange Brew and provided the voice of Mring Mring the Gupin on Ewoks, the TV series.

“I did voice gigs, I did commercials, I did guest spots. I went out with my journeyman actor’s tool kit, but I never got anything more than enough breathing room to cover three months rent,” he says. “If you did take a vacation you spent six months paying off the debt on your credit card.”

After three years “chasing the sitcom dream” in Los Angeles, James knew it was time for a change.

“I had two mouths to feed and I had a daughter who was five and another one who was born in ’94 and I was sick and tired of waiting for agents to phone me up with another audition.”

Frustrated with trying out for “nebbish sidekick roles,” James finally put pen to paper and started crafting standup material.

Asked if it was a relief to be telling his own jokes, James grows quiet and contemplative for nearly a full second.

“Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? It was everything. There’s only so many ways you can deliver the work of a tube of toothpaste or a soup can for a commercial before you want to start taking hostages, brother. And you got one of those Procter & Gamble freaks leaning over your shoulder, one of those automatons with their MBA tucked under their arm and more attitude than a storm trooper,” James takes a breath.

“Jesus, I’m gonna use that line.”

Still, going through the “crucible of amateur night” in an attempt to amuse crowds of halfway inebriated Torontonians with stories of his Halifax upbringing was a daunting one.

“Scared shitless,” James says, succinctly describing his psychological state at those first standup gigs. “I sweat a bucket, I talk too fast, my tongue would get stuck to the roof of my mouth, I was too gratuitous with profanity, I was nervous when there was quiet.”

Part of James’ persistence in finding his niche in the Canadian standup scene sprang from an unexpected source. “As an actor I had a supporting role in one of those Ernest movies in Vancouver,” James says, referring to the Oscar-eligible film Ernest Rides Again.

“The whole cabal that came up were unapologetic Nashville Republicans. And I would tell my stories about growing up in Halifax and the influence of the American dream on me as a kid, because we used to see the Americans come up in their 60-foot chrome-plated Airstream living units when we were camping at the Highlands National Park,” James says. “And those people laughed at my stories and I thought ‘Wow, man, maybe I got something going on here.’”

While James has secured a degree of notoriety, he’s quick to point out the corrupting influence of fame, as well as the disturbing practice of ranking comedians by how much money they make.

“Why is that a priority? It’s a priority because celebrity culture is so driven by the fraudulent ethos of fame and fortune. The comedian should be measured on what he’s saying, not what he’s worth, because what he’s worth is what he’s saying.”

For James, standup comedy is the rare art form that’s nearly impervious to fraud.

“I knew that the rules for standup were authentic, I knew that they were real and I knew there’d be no crutch,” he says. “I got into standup comedy to follow my bliss.”

Comedy seems to be ingrained in James’ personality, and with barely a question asked he’s quick with stories of a recent concert in Ontario. “I just played Tony Clement’s riding up in Ontario, here, and there’s so much Tory pork in that riding I’m surprised the mayor hasn’t grown a curly tail,” he says.

During the interview James states his preference to refer to jokes as “material” and to material as “prose.”

“I took this work very seriously because it was a way for me to make sense of the chaos I’m walking through,” he explains.

James does his best to make sense of Canadian chaos in The Ron James Show, although he’s not certain CBC’s Friday night stalwart will continue.

“The show, we’re waiting on pins and needles to find out if we get picked up. We have reason to believe we will, but who knows? It’s been such carnage over there,” he says, reflecting on his role with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

“Sort of holding down the eight o’clock time slot on Friday night like a tailgunner in a B-17,” he summarizes. “‘And where’s Ron?’ ‘Ah, he’s at the back of the friggin’ plane.’ “You gonna go see him?’ ‘Nah, he’s all right.’ “That’s pretty well the feeling I get.”

The program’s evolution over the past three seasons is a testament to the show’s writers, according to James.

“This is just a marvelous team of writers I have. We’ve matured and evolved into a cohesive unit, and when you get that unit, you keep it ’cause that’s where everything comes from.

That’s the lodestone.”

As James hits the road for a slate of standup dates this summer, he’s mindful of the money people pay to see his show.

“Comedy, by its nature is populist. It’s the language of the common people,” James says.

“I did the Vancouver comedy festival a couple of years ago,” he remembers. “Janeane Garofalo came on stage with her notes and proceeded to tell the audience how stupid they were. Nice, eh? I wish I’d've paid 50 bucks to see that.”

James takes pride in the fact that his audiences receive good value.

“I have to give them an honest bang for their buck. The only reason I get off after 100 minutes or two hours is I need to take a leak. I should strap in, I guess, and then maybe I could go longer.”

Asked what he would say to someone who was on the fence about seeing his show, James is aghast.

“Why would you be on the fence?” he asks. “I’ve got a couple of jokes in my show that I know if people aren’t laughing at them, if people aren’t laughing at those particular jokes, they just won’t laugh at anything.”

© Copyright (c) North Shore News

????? ??????????? ??????, Hamilton ????????? ?????? ? ????? ??????????? ?????????? ?????? ????????. ?? ???? ?????, ?????????? ??????? ???? ?????????? ?????? ?? $ 2 100, ? ???? ??????????? ? ???? ????? ????? ?? ?? ??????? ?? $ 11 400. ?? ???? ??  70-?? ?????? ?? ??????? ??? ?????, ?????? ?? ????????? ????????? ???? ???? ????? ?????????, ? ??? ?? ??????? ?? ?????????? ????? ? ????????? ???????, ?????? ?? ?? ?????? ???? ?? ????? $ 10.

???? ??? ?????? ?? ????????????, ????? ??????, ?? ??????? ????????? ?? ?? ????????, ?? ???????? ?????????? ?? Sony ?? ?????? ????, ??? ???? ?????????? ????????? ???? SmartWatch ($ 150). ???? ? Android-??????? ????? ????????, ????? ???????? ?????????? ????, ???????? ?????????, ? ???????? ?????, ? ?????? ????????????? ???? ? ?????????? ???????? ?? ???????? ????????.

????????? ? ????? ?? ????? ??? ???? ?????????? 40 ?????? ?? ? ???????? ???????????? ?????? ????????, ?? ?? ???????? ??? ???????????? ??????????? ??????? ?? ?????? ?? ??????????? ?? ???????? ??????. ??? ?????? ?? ?????????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?? ?????? ?????????, ?????????? ??????,  ?? ????? ?? ?? ?? ????????? ?? PCMag.

1. ????????? ????????? ????????? ?????? ??????????? ?????? ????? ???????? ?? ??????? ?? ????? ??? ????? 40 ??????, ?? ??????? ????????? ????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ???? 1920 ??????. ??? ? ???????? ????? ??????? ??????, ?? Cortebert Digital Wristwatch ? ??????? ????????? ????? ????????, ?????? ?? ???? 1920 ??????. ??? ????? ?? ?????? ? ???????, ? ? ???????? ?? ?? ?????? ????? ?????? ??????.

2. ?????????? ??????? Hamilton Pulsar P1 (1972)

Hamilton Pulsar P1 ? ??????? ?????????? ?????? ????????, ????? ?? ??????? ???? ????? 1972 ??????. ??? ???????? LED ??????? ????? ??? ?????????? ??????? ??????? ???????? ? 18-???????? ?????? ???????. ??? ????? ??????????? ??????? ????? ???????, ?? ?? ????????? ?????????? ?????? ???????????? ??????? ?????. ???? ?????? ??-?????, ?????????? ???? ?? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ?? ?????? ???? ??? ????? ‘Live and Let Die’.

3. Seiko O6LC (1973)

??????? ????????? ? LCD ??????? ?? ???????? ? ???? ?? 70-?? ?????? ?? ??????? ???, ?? ?? ?? ?????????? LCD ??????????, ????? ?? ???????? ?? ?????, ????? ????????? ????. ???? ?? ??????? ?????? ????????? ?????????? ?????? ??????? ? Seiko O6LC.    

4. Hamilton Pulsar Calculator Watch (1976)

???? ?? ??????? ?????? ?????????-???????????, ????? ?????? ?? ?????? ? Hamilton Pulsar Calculator Watch ???? 1976 ??????. ???????? ?? ?? ??????? ?????, ?? ???????????? ? ????? ?? ?? ??????? ???? ? ??????? ?? ??????. ???? ???????? ????????-?????????? ? Hewlett-Packard HP-01, ????? ?? ??????? ?? ?????? ?????? ??-?????.

5. TI Star Wars Watch (1977)

?????????? Texas-Instruments (TI) ????? ????????? ? ??????????? ? ????????? ????? ????????? ???? ???? ??????? ?????? ????? LED ???????? ? ???? ??? $ 20 ???? 1976 ??????.

6. Casio Game-10 (1980)

?????? ??????????? ?????? ??????? ?????? ???????????, ??????? ???? ???? ?????????. ??? ???? ??????????????? ? ???????? ?? ??????? ??? ?????? ??????????????, ?? ?? ????????? ???????? ???? ?? ???? ??????. ???? ???? 80-?? ?????? ?? ??????? ??? ?? ??????? Casio Game-10 – ??????? ????????, ?? ????? ? ?????? ?? ?? ?????? ???????? ????.

7. Seiko TV Watch (1982)

Seiko TV Watch ??????? ???? ??????????? ???? 1982 ??????, ?????? ??????? ?? ????????????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?????? ????????? ?? ????? LCD ?????, ??????? ? ?????????. ??????? ??, ?????? ???? ?? ???????????? ?? ??????????? ?? ? ??????? ????? ?????????, ?? ??? ???, ???????????? ? ???? ????? ????? ?? ??????? ??.

8. Timex Data Link 150 (1994)

??????????? ? ???????? ?????????????? ?? ???? ????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ???????? ?? ?????? ???? 1980 ??????. Timex ??????? ???? ??????? ? Data Link 150, ???? ????????? ?? ????????????? ?? ?????????? ?????????? ?? ???????? ??? ???????? ???? ??????? ??????.

9. Casio Wrist Camera (2002)

Casio Wrist Camera ? ??????? ????? ????? ???????? ? ???????? ??????. ??????? ??,  ??????????? ?? ???????? ? ?????? ?? ???????????? – 120 ? 120, ?? ?????? ?? Casio ?? ?? ?????? ?? ??????? ???? ? ????????.

10. Seiko E-Ink Watch (2010)

Seiko ????????? ?????? ???????? ? ?????, ????? ???????? e-ink ??????? ???? 2005 ??????. ??? ?????? ??-?????, ?????????? ????????? ? ??????? ???????? ? e-ink ??????? ? ??????? ???????, ????? ????????? ??-?????? ?????? ? ?????? ?????? ?? ??????.

11. Apple iPod Nano ? HEX Watch Band (2010) ????? ?? ? ?????, ?? ??????????? ?? ???????? ??????, ?? ????????, ?? ????????? ??? ??? ?? ??????. ?????????? ??????????? ?? ?????? ????????????? – ???? ??????? ? ???????, ???????? ???????, ??????????? ????? ??????, ? GPS ?????????. ???? ? Apple ?? ?????????? ??? ???????. ?????? ????? HEX Watch Band ? ???? ?????????? ???????? ?? iPod Nano, ????? ?????? ???? ?? ????????????? ???? ?? ?? ???????? ? ???????? ????????. ???? ??, ???????? ?? ??????? ????????? ?, ???????? ? ?????? ??.

The Black Celtic is an age old design masterfully rendered on our pure black and highly polished finish. This very elegant tungsten carbide ring has grooved and polished edges complimenting the strikingly perfect pattern etched all the way around the surface. Truly a stunning piece. It features precision stepped edges and a comfort fit design.

Tungsten is one of the hardest metals on the planet. It’s durability is absolutely unmatched in the jewelry industry. Tungsten is 10 times harder than 18K gold, 5 times harder than tool steel and 4 times harder than titanium. It measures between an 8 and 9 on the Mohs scale, with diamonds being the highest at a 10. Tungsten has been used for decades in industrial applications where only the strongest and hardest metal will suffice. The incredible strength and timeless beauty of our tungsten rings will have you cherishing them for a lifetime.

All of our rings are manufactured with tungsten carbide using nickel as a binding agent. Many companies choose to use cobalt as a binder because it is slightly cheaper. While either element will work just fine, cobalt has a higher tendency to have adverse reactions with some people’s skin. This is why we use nickel. Although in some extremely rare cases a customer will discover he or she has an allergy to nickel, our rings are generally considered to be hypo-allergenic.

The extent to which people can be imaginative and indulge in making themselves fashionable is evident from jewelry items such as the stud earrings. These have become quite common among people these days as they want to get an earring but still be fashionable enough to get noticed. Studs are small protrusions that are fitted in different ornaments and look suitable for the earrings. These are small in size but can be quite effective when people look at these items as things belonging to jewelries.

Plenty of fashion items are found in the market these days due to the high demand of these products as well as the manufacturing of these fashion jewelries by many companies. Although gold and diamond are still in demand, but still, the fashion items have garnered a lot of support these days. Also, there has been a significant change in the manner in which the jewelry items are being seen in the market.

Bracelets, ear stretchers, stud earrings, etc are things which were not seen in earlier days. Now, these items have become the basis of the fashion items that are being sold in the malls as well as in the online stores. The online shops have further fuelled the demand of these items because of the affordability of these items. Not only are people able to get the wholesale body jewelry at very low prices, but also because one can find plenty of these items and that too of different varieties.

It takes a lot of search and shop hopping for people to have a good option in jewelries in the usual scenario. But the online stores have increased the options that people have in their minds and the chances that they will surely get something of their choice are quite high. In most of the stores, people are also seeking such things which have been introduced newly into the market because they would like to flaunt these items first. Therefore the designers are also eager to come out with new designs and items which will be favoured by people because they are now aware about the taste of people.

Low cost and higher number of designs has become the hallmark of most of the wholesale body jewelry as people will like them with such criteria. Companies are coming out with new designs always and this is gradually being sought by people. Things that can be used as ornaments and are not commonly marketed get the fanciful eyes of people quicker than the usual jewelry items.

Therefore, the stud earrings have been liked by people more than the usual necklaces or even earrings which were in existence. The popularity of such items has increased tremendously in recent years as more and more people are seeking these items and also they are getting them at cheap prices due to the wholesale body jewelry.

Volvo Malaysia Sdn Bhd will be focusing on a series of awareness campaign for Volvo Truck Genuine Parts in the second half of this year. Its Vice President, Aftermarket, Martin Kavanagh said the awareness campaigns have been set up throughout the remaining period of this year to educate truck drivers on the importance of procuring genuine parts. “Truck drivers nowadays prefer to get the non-genuine parts because they are cheaper compared with genuine parts. However, the drivers may not realise that the non-genuine parts will cost them more in the long term. “The main objective of our campaign is to show the customers how the genuine parts actually benefit them and save cost, in the long-term truck use,” he told reporters after the launch of Volvo Malaysia’s Fuelwatch Challenge here today. President of Volvo Trucks Group, Region Malaysia, Mansoor Ahmed said the Fuelwatch Challenge is aimed at creating better understanding and awareness on fuel efficiency, maintenance, vehicle optimisation and driver behaviour. “Putting people to work on solving quality, safety and environmental issues is one of the best ways to instill pride and ownership to achieve our goals,” he said. — Bernama

Simulated diamonds have long been used as a substitute for the most popular and expensive of stones used in jewellery of today, but what are the facts, and what should you be aware of? Well, here is a list of a few facts about our simulated diamonds you may or may not already know:

1. They are so visually close to diamonds as to be indistinguishable with an untrained eye.

2. They are made from zirconium dioxide, which means they are harder than most natural gems, placing them at 8.5 on the Mohs’ hardness scale, with natural diamonds being rated 10.

3. They are about 1.7 times heavier than than natural diamonds.

4. Where the natural kinds almost always have flaws, our simulated diamonds are virtually flawless.

5. The simulated kinds are colourless, whereas this is true only in the rarest of diamonds.

So what does this mean for you? Well it simply depends on your situation. If money is not an issue, then you may wish to purchase jewellery with natural diamonds. But if you wish to have a varied collection on a limited budget and enjoy all the same benefits that this kind provides, then perhaps they will suit you much better. It is important to remember that they are not fake, they are simply man made. This means that you can now enjoy the benefits of the most perfect kind, but at a fraction of the cost. Why wait years to be able to enjoy the fire and brilliance of them when you can have them now?

bed; DIRECTION: ltr” align=left> 

A Moissanite Ring

Finished jewelry sales increased 319 percent to approximately $1.7 million, compared with approximately $410,000 in the corresponding period of the previous year.

Loose moissanite gemstone sales, however, decreased 4 percent to approximately $2.5 million, compared with approximately $2.6 million in the corresponding period of the previous year. The drop was due primarily to the timing of restocking orders from a number of the company?s existing wholesale customers as they managed existing inventory ahead of the planned second quarter of 2012 rollout of the Company?s new Forever Brilliant?-enhanced gemstones.

Operating expenses increased $989,000, or 53 percent, during the quarter compared to the same period of 2011. Of this increase, sales and marketing expenses increased $821,000, or 120 percent.

The company said the increase was primarily due to its ongoing investments in marketing and branding initiatives to better position Charles & Colvard?s product lines in the marketplace, as well as key strategic personnel additions in support of its direct-to-consumer Moissanite.com e-commerce and Lulu Avenue? home party businesses.

?I?m very pleased with a $500,000 gross margin increase for the first quarter of 2012 over the first quarter of 2011,? said CEO Randy N. McCullough. ?This demonstrates that we?re on the right track toward building profitable long-term sustainable revenue.”

McCullough said that while investments in Lulu Avenue and Moissanite.com have unfavorably impacted the company's bottom line today, he believes it has laid the groundwork to drive substantial revenue and profits in the near future.

?The company today is positioned to reap the benefits of the past two and a half years since I came on board and refocused on developing a jewelry-producing entity that leverages the moissanite gemstone,” he added. “We expect our finished jewelry business to continue to grow, and in addition, our ability to produce jewelry supports all of our consumer-direct initiatives.”

The triumphant players arrived in the capital fresh from a night of celebration to parade the trophy on an open-top bus ride through west London yesterday.

And they were greeted by a sea of blue, made up of thousands of ecstatic supporters waving flags, singing songs and chanting their names.

Kieron Lee, a 19-year-old shop worker said: “This is the best day of my life. I’ve been up for the last 28 hours without any sleep. Since the game we’ve just been drinking, celebrating and just thinking about it over and over again.”

Charlie Holder, 35, who was joined by his children Billy, nine, and Patsy, three, said: “I cried today, this is just the most incredible day. When the game finished I went out and slipped into an alcoholic coma. I’ve had a little bit of sleep but it is just a massive day.”

Katie Winkworth, 27, who was celebrating with friends in Parsons Green said: “We haven’t been to bed yet – I haven’t even washed. I am actually a Man United supporter but I’m here because my other half supports Chelsea and he said it was a one off.”

Some supporters climbed lampposts, traffic lights and trees to catch a glimpse of the players as they stopped for 20 minutes beside Eel Brook Common on the New King’s Road.

Sophia Florentzos, 39, who went to Munich to watch the match, said: “I got back to London at 4.30 in the morning. I’ve probably had about eight hours sleep in the last three days, but it was worth it – the atmosphere was amazing.”

Life-long Chelsea fan Sabrina Nash, 35, said: “It is just an unbelievable feeling, I thought we weren’t going to do it, but it was definitely the best moment of my life when we won. I watched the game at home but as soon as we won I came down to the streets to celebrate.”

And the players took their turn to thank the crowd, with captain John Terry – who missed the final through suspension – leading the way with chants of “Champione, champione, ole, ole, ole”.

He told the fans: “We’ve waited eight years for this trophy. We love you guys – Chelsea’s your club, so we deserve this.”

The team looked less than fresh after a night of celebration, and defender David Luiz drew loud cheers when he told the delighted crowd: “I’m so tired, I don’t know if I can play any more games”.

They were joined on the blue bus by Chelsea’s owner, Roman Abramovich, who has reportedly pumped £1 billion into the club since he bought it in 2003.

And when Terry paid tribute to the Russian, he stood up to accept the adulation of the crowd, who sang his name.

The party showed no sign of ending after the players said their final thanks, with thousands flocking to local pubs.

Neil Dunning, manager of the Duke on the Green pub in Parson’s Green said: “The atmosphere has been electric here all weekend. When the final whistle went on Saturday night everyone moved into the streets around Fulham Broadway and they have been there ever since.”

A huge clean-up operation was underway today to clear the streets of the debris fans left in their wake, including thousands of sticks of celery – the subject of a favourite Chelsea chant.

One day, the founder of SabineSatie was eating in a restaurant and while waiting for the food, she glanced curiously around her. In front, at the left and right tables, there were two girls dressed beautifully. They were dating their boyfriends. They wore little black dresses with shiny flat ballet shoes. They wore their hair long and sleek. They had smoky eye make-up. They looked like they read the same fashion tips. They looked SIMILAR but they were strangers to each other. Where has the personality gone to? How can they stand out among the masses?

So it is simply not enough to be beautiful. You want to express your personality.

And it is the little changes, the little touches of creativity that count.

Maybe a t-shirt dress rehemmed at the sleeves. Now it looks like a unique designer piece.

a gorgeous belt, that sassy haircut and amazing earrings1 A combination of all three would be good but not necessary. Most of all it is the person who makes the statement, not what is put on them. But then a person with personality would never want to look cookie cutter. They yearn for that extra special accesoire, different from all the rest.

These cannot be found in big department stores. They will most likely come from individual handcrafting artist that love to express their unique talent in an artistic way. Handcrafted jewelry is among the most beautiful ways to express your individuality.

Using metal that you don’t see often or making combinations of metals dance with each other like copper and silver together is what it takes to attract attention.

The picture above shows a custom piece of wood, but any old pole will do provided it fits outside the box. Throw your clothes on the makeshift hanger, turn the hanger diagonally and drop it in the box. This way you’ll be able to keep the clothes on hangers and skip the expensive wardrobe boxes. If that seems like too much work, you can always try the dead body bundle technique.

LPT: An easy way to pack a bunch of clothes on hangers [Reddit]